All schools have to have a policy in place regarding how to deal with bullies, this policy is required by law but schools may have different policies. None of the policies have been studied over the long term so it is hard to say if one works better than another but here are some of the policies that schools have to help combat bullying:
The support or no blame method
In this method the victim of the bully is asked to draw pictures or write a story or poem about the effects bullying has had on them, a meeting will then be held between a teacher and a group of children including the bully. Also in the group will be children who have witnessed the attacks and some that haven’t.
The teacher will then show the group the victim’s drawings or story and explain to the group the victim’s feelings and the effect bullying has had on them. The group is then open to discussion to find ways of finding a solution. The principle behind this is not to put blame on the bully in the hope that by doing so they will not feel threatened and is part of the solution rather than the problem.
Those in the group who witnessed the attacks are meant to see that by doing nothing they condoned the bullying. The group as a whole are asked for any ideas to solutions to stop bullying and responsibility is put on the group rather than a single person. The group will then be asked to carry out the solutions for a week and then they meet up again to discuss what if anything has been achieved.
Counseling between the bully and the victim
The idea is to bring the two together in a room with a teacher and let them both talk over their feelings, the victim has a chance to tell the bully the effect bullying has had and the bully can talk about why he/she feels that they act as they do.
Circle time
This policy is used mainly with younger children, who are experiencing bullying, children are encouraged to sit on the carpet in a circle and talk about how bullying makes them feel. Children are encouraged to listen to each other and to respect each others feelings.
Peer group programmes
This is a strategy that is widely used in schools and involves choosing pupils who will act as peer councillors, the idea behind it is that the whole school knows bullying won’t be tolerated so children who are new to the school moving up from juniors are assured that the school is a bully free zone and bullying is dealt with quickly.
The children chosen as peer councillors undergo training into the various effects bullying has on people and how to care for children who are being bullied. Some schools also have a box system whereby if someone is being bullied but they don’t want to approach the peer group then they can leave a message with their name on it to be collected. Text messaging and e-mails can also be sent and the whole programme is overseen by a teacher.
The teacher\’s child is the bully
What can we do when it is the teacher\’s child who is the bully?
A serious incident happened to our child last year, and we suspect the perpetrator is the child of our child\’s current teacher.
Other problems arose, so we went to the upper administration, only to find out the previous incident had not been reported to the administration, in accordance with their policy, last year. The administrator was shocked.
Until yesterday, we did not know that our son\’s teacher had children in our school. We know the name of the child who harmed our child, but the teacher has a different last name from her husband and children. We are trying to get the school to disclose this.
It should be mandatory to let parents know if their child\’s teacher is the parent of the bully who victimized their child. There is clearly a conflict of interest in allowing the parent of a child who committed a serious bullying incident (criminal charges would apply if this were an adult) to teach the victim. I want to know. We would not allow our child to be taught by the bully\’s parents.
How can I get the school to disclose this information to me? This is very upsetting.
my twin sons who go to mainstream school were being bullied by their teacher they both have cerbral palsy and are statemented children they have been out of school now for 7 weeks and nothing has been done about it the principal of the school is close friends with this particular teacher and denies that this teacher is a bully
my daughter was bullied contantly in school since grade school. she is 19 and paying the price. she can\’t go to school, etc. she has ptsd, and other problems. How does one go about finding competent help when even the THERAPISTS bully. thank you.
I and my three children (11m, 13m & 17f) have been bullied by my wife in and insideous, guilt-laden and isolationsist fashion. As I am in the early stages of divorce, I find myself completely estranged from my three children due to what I feel is Parental Alienation Syndrome. (PAS.) Also, my 17 yr daughter has had an inexplicable stomach condition for several years which defies medical diagnosis or treatment. Two family members, one an RN, have independently suspected my wife suffers from Munchasuen by Proxy Syndrome (MbPS), and I have very recently had to covertly pre-empt my wife from getting a sleeping pill prescription for my daughter in fear that she would \’attempt\’ suicide. Your \’bullying in the family\’ page near perfectly describes my 18 years of marriage, and I never recognized it until a doctor suggested my wife\’s behaviour sounded like emotional bullying. (Appointment 15 April 2008, Dr Weatherall, Canadian Forces Base Trenton, ON.) I suspect my daughter of having become a bully herself and being responsible for alientating my sons from me, or at least participating in this process. Would you know of a reknown expert in the field bullying to whom I might turn to, preferably Canadian in the Toronto - Ottawa corridor. (I live half way in between in Belleville, ON). Your prompt response is eagerly awaited and most gratefully appreciated.
what do we do to help our kids?!
* By the average age of 23 children who had been bullied in school were found to still suffer from depression and stress related illnesses.
thank you for having this where parents can look up what to do.
my child is being called names by a teacher, and other students too.
my child is being called the same name all the time almost every day. It is physical education, and I am seeing his confidence deminish at an alarming rate. I am setting up a meeting now. if you have other suggestions, I would love to here from you.
Your article has many words miss-spelled …. thought you would like to know this…
* Arrange a meeting - arrange a meeting with the head teacher and the teacher in question and voice your concerns about your child being
victimised
in the classroom.
* Write a letter - Put down in writing the incidences that occur in the classroom and the way your child has changed because of the behaviour of the teacher, this way the teacher can see how his/her
behaviour
is affecting the child and of course they also know that you know what is happening in the classroom and that notes are being kept.
* Be prepared to go to higher authorities - If you are not satisfied with the way the school or teachers deal with any complaints, this could be writing to
please can you answer a couple of questions for me .
My son is 10 years old now in his last year of primary he has dylexia and behavioural problems where the scholl is surpplying the surport he needs.He has a new teacher and for the first time like him and was getting on really well but all seems to have changed. my son was in trouble at school the other week were the situation has all now been sorted. the problem is his teacher. can his teacher call him a bully in frount of others? , then on friday as they were about to leave sch his teacher in frount of a class of kids said I would not be friends with this boy because of how he is acting?
please can you tell me is that the right thing to say to a child.
many thanks
7 Responses to “Bullying In Schools”
The teacher\’s child is the bully
What can we do when it is the teacher\’s child who is the bully?
A serious incident happened to our child last year, and we suspect the perpetrator is the child of our child\’s current teacher.
Other problems arose, so we went to the upper administration, only to find out the previous incident had not been reported to the administration, in accordance with their policy, last year. The administrator was shocked.
Until yesterday, we did not know that our son\’s teacher had children in our school. We know the name of the child who harmed our child, but the teacher has a different last name from her husband and children. We are trying to get the school to disclose this.
It should be mandatory to let parents know if their child\’s teacher is the parent of the bully who victimized their child. There is clearly a conflict of interest in allowing the parent of a child who committed a serious bullying incident (criminal charges would apply if this were an adult) to teach the victim. I want to know. We would not allow our child to be taught by the bully\’s parents.
How can I get the school to disclose this information to me? This is very upsetting.
By Anonymous on Jun 7, 2008
my twin sons who go to mainstream school were being bullied by their teacher they both have cerbral palsy and are statemented children they have been out of school now for 7 weeks and nothing has been done about it the principal of the school is close friends with this particular teacher and denies that this teacher is a bully
By SHIRLEY CUST on Jun 7, 2008
my daughter was bullied contantly in school since grade school. she is 19 and paying the price. she can\’t go to school, etc. she has ptsd, and other problems. How does one go about finding competent help when even the THERAPISTS bully. thank you.
By sophee on Jun 7, 2008
I and my three children (11m, 13m & 17f) have been bullied by my wife in and insideous, guilt-laden and isolationsist fashion. As I am in the early stages of divorce, I find myself completely estranged from my three children due to what I feel is Parental Alienation Syndrome. (PAS.) Also, my 17 yr daughter has had an inexplicable stomach condition for several years which defies medical diagnosis or treatment. Two family members, one an RN, have independently suspected my wife suffers from Munchasuen by Proxy Syndrome (MbPS), and I have very recently had to covertly pre-empt my wife from getting a sleeping pill prescription for my daughter in fear that she would \’attempt\’ suicide. Your \’bullying in the family\’ page near perfectly describes my 18 years of marriage, and I never recognized it until a doctor suggested my wife\’s behaviour sounded like emotional bullying. (Appointment 15 April 2008, Dr Weatherall, Canadian Forces Base Trenton, ON.) I suspect my daughter of having become a bully herself and being responsible for alientating my sons from me, or at least participating in this process. Would you know of a reknown expert in the field bullying to whom I might turn to, preferably Canadian in the Toronto - Ottawa corridor. (I live half way in between in Belleville, ON). Your prompt response is eagerly awaited and most gratefully appreciated.
By Major Stephen on Jun 7, 2008
what do we do to help our kids?!
* By the average age of 23 children who had been bullied in school were found to still suffer from depression and stress related illnesses.
By sophee on Jun 7, 2008
thank you for having this where parents can look up what to do.
my child is being called names by a teacher, and other students too.
my child is being called the same name all the time almost every day. It is physical education, and I am seeing his confidence deminish at an alarming rate. I am setting up a meeting now. if you have other suggestions, I would love to here from you.
Your article has many words miss-spelled …. thought you would like to know this…
* Arrange a meeting - arrange a meeting with the head teacher and the teacher in question and voice your concerns about your child being
victimised
in the classroom.
* Write a letter - Put down in writing the incidences that occur in the classroom and the way your child has changed because of the behaviour of the teacher, this way the teacher can see how his/her
behaviour
is affecting the child and of course they also know that you know what is happening in the classroom and that notes are being kept.
* Be prepared to go to higher authorities - If you are not satisfied with the way the school or teachers deal with any complaints, this could be writing to
Ofsted
or the board of education.
By Belinda on Jun 7, 2008
please can you answer a couple of questions for me .
My son is 10 years old now in his last year of primary he has dylexia and behavioural problems where the scholl is surpplying the surport he needs.He has a new teacher and for the first time like him and was getting on really well but all seems to have changed. my son was in trouble at school the other week were the situation has all now been sorted. the problem is his teacher. can his teacher call him a bully in frount of others? , then on friday as they were about to leave sch his teacher in frount of a class of kids said I would not be friends with this boy because of how he is acting?
please can you tell me is that the right thing to say to a child.
many thanks
By HELEN on Jun 7, 2008